Return of the Slacker

Defiance

2012-01-31T02:05:00.000-05:00

One day
Death will come looking for me
and I'll tell him
Fuck off,
I'm not done

-Jim DuBois

Magical Essence

2012-01-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

Our Ideas About Death

2012-01-15T23:51:00.000-05:00

I.

Right after
your father died
you used to talk to me
in the middle of the night
about your ideas
about death,
how maybe you would
dig a hole in the ground
and find Daddy
or how it scared you
that they might
put you and Mama
in different holes in the ground
when you died,
and you would be
very lonely then,
or how you wanted
to die together with Mama
on the same day,
because you always wanted
to be with her,
and it was sweet
and horrible
all together for me.

I had to be
an adult
and reassure you
that you and Mama
would live a long time,
but that it
was still sad
that Daddy died.

I remember you saying to me,
"I never thought
you would die, Jim,"
and it was chilling
to think of you
imagining my death,
to see you face death
so early.

I also remember
after one of these conversations
at the lake house,
you getting up
and saying,
"Let's never die!"
and jumping around eagerly
on the bed,
and I thought
that was
a damn fine response.

II.

Even though I reassured you
about death, and
was happy to help,
I don't really understand it
or like it myself.

I think of it as
a cruel robbery
that breaks hearts
that changes lives' courses
that makes days grimmer,
and I would undo it,
I would stop it,
if I could.

I don't understand
why we are here,
or why we die
-- it does seem cruel --
but despite that,
the chance to meet you
and love you
was worth it.

-Jim DuBois
Nov 30, 2011

Nice Knowin' Ya

2012-01-09T23:37:00.000-05:00

Every time
someone tells me
that they
are getting married,
or even more
when they
are having a kid,
I genuinely
feel like saying,
"It was nice knowin' ya!"
and rolling my eyes,
because I think
people have no idea
what they are in for,
and it would be better
to warn them,
in a perfect world,
but I know it's not nice,
so I eke out an,
"Oh, uh... congratulations,"
instead,
and throw in a sincere
"Good luck,"
on the way out.

-Jim DuBois
Jan 6, 2012

Here and Now

2012-01-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

Here and now,
greater than any
fame or fortune
greater than any
achievement.

-Jim DuBois
Jan 1, 2012

Modern Talisman

2011-12-28T14:58:00.000-05:00

There's a book
I keep by the side of my bed.

I got it
at the estate sale
of a woman who had lived
to be one hundred and three
(and still had all her teeth,
said the daughter).

It's called "Forever Young,"
a thin book
about
ways to stay healthy
and live longer.

I flipped through it
and noticed
starred passages
and underlining.

I purchased it
for a quarter.

On the surface,
I pretend I will read it
one day
and learn its amazing secrets.

But really,
it's a talisman
from a powerful wizard
and I'm keeping it
for its arcane
magical powers
to extend my life.

-Jim DuBois
Dec 28, 2011

About D--th

2011-12-16T00:36:00.000-05:00

About D--th
(whose name is so evil
I will never say it):
It is a robbery of what is most precious: [life]

No true God condones d--th
with fairy tale stories of heaven.

No religion that says you get another life
(which only pacifies you into accepting the BS of d--th,
never gives you another life)
is hopeful.

F--k the d--th penalty!
Everyone who thinks it is a good thing
is seriously deluded.
How can we steal like that?

But murderers? F them too!
and warmongers
and greedy killer capitalists
and anti-environmentalists
and racists
and everyone who profits off of war
F F F them.

Don't think I will go quietly.
If it comes down to it,
I'll use my last breath to say,
"This is robbery! Scr-w the cruel god that made it this way. And F the random universe, too."

There is only life,
whose name I will say
over and over:
Life! Life! Life!

I want to keep it,
to promote that it is the most important thing we have,
and strive to preserve it.

-Jim DuBois
August 24, 2010

because you told me

2011-12-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

I woke up
as a bad-ass madman poet,
stalking downtown,
daring you to cross me,
to try to fuck me over,
because you told me to "break"
and what you don't know is
I never will,
but then I felt
a horrible desperate loneliness,
injected behind my eyes like fire,
melting my neurons together,
seizing my limbs,
and it was a feeling the night couldn't cure
and fucking can only hold at bay
and fucking and fucking and fucking
can only hold at bay.

-Jim DuBois
12/11/08

Already

2011-11-27T23:02:00.000-05:00

The time
is already
wasted

The dream
is already
gone

-Jim DuBois
2001?

A Veces

2011-11-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

A veces,
solamente
la luz del corazón

-Jim DuBois
Sep 11, 2011

Saying

2011-11-10T12:46:00.000-05:00

Just remember
what
my dear old
imaginary dad
used to say,

"If I got
a key to your house,
I'm gonna
eat
your Fritos."

-Jim DuBois
Nov 6, 2011

I like jars

2011-11-03T09:06:00.000-04:00

I like jars
I'm 36
I'm your secret boyfriend

Do you want
to see my antlers?

-Jim DuBois
Jan 14, 2006

Early Morning

2011-10-28T01:02:00.000-04:00

Early morning is like
a foreign country,
populated mainly
by birds
and
empty soda cans

-Jim DuBois
April 26,1999

wtf #2

2011-10-13T01:04:00.000-04:00

crumble jacket oxygen salt oil abduction
summer blast maple smudge battery bombast
strict chalk vine bungle brake return

-Jim DuBois
April 15 2005

essential rhythm fish

2011-10-07T01:01:00.000-04:00

Blind wet candy wax
worry dog window cake
translucent thing think
essential rhythm fish

- Jim DuBois
c 1999

Lying

2011-10-01T00:58:00.000-04:00

When we were 7 or 8,
we used to piss
off the stone wall
by the street.

Jeff's father
asked him
if we did.

Jeff said no.
His father said
"that's called lying."

After that, we'd say
"I have to lie"
and go piss
off the wall.

-Jim DuBois
April 19, 2005

Wading Through Time

2011-09-25T06:27:00.000-04:00

Wading through time
like drunken soldiers,
killing time
wasting time,
like totally wasting it, man

Like some kind of
Lazy heroes

-Jim DuBois
2004?

Bulldozing my Childhood

2011-09-19T09:18:00.000-04:00

They are bulldozing my childhood,
burying my memories
under the foundations
of another new subdivision,
quietly making a buck,
and severing some nasty roots
to make way
for another american dream.

-Jim DuBois
1999?

First Love (running through the snow)

2011-09-13T08:11:00.000-04:00

All we really had were those shining moments,
sleeping together
under the grey wings
of winter,

Running through the snow
beneath the sheltering sky
between long dreams
and desires for which we
had no voice.

-Jim DuBois
Summer 1997

What Was Revealed

2011-09-07T01:07:00.000-04:00

Like someone turning up the volume
when you didn't know the music was playing

Like scattering clouds from
the face of the sun

Like a thousand folded days
stuffed into fragile boxes
and thrown to the wind,
blooming like instant flowers
wherever they land,
growing like vines
that hold the world together.

-Jim DuBois
April 21, 2004

Say Something!

2011-08-31T00:01:00.000-04:00

Many years ago now,
I had this unbearable
crush on a librarian
at the Forbes library.

It was the kind of crush
that left me
unable to talk
in her presence.

I would go by
every few days
and get out books
just to see if she
was there,
and invariably,
if she was,
utter a timid thanks
and leave.

It was so unbearable
that I resolved one day
to say something
next time,
no matter what.

(Now, I must tell you
that I have made
resolutions of that nature
before
and they usually don't work
- one time I had resolved
to say something
to a woman I kept seeing
on the sidewalks downtown
and the pressure built up
so much
that I
jumped behind a tree
to hide
the next time
I saw her coming.)

So, I go to the library
and my crush is there.

She takes my book
to check it out
and I am saying
(in my head,)
"Do it! Say something!
Now is the chance!
Seize the day!
You never know what will happen!"
but I'm feeling like
it will be very awkward.

This battle continues
for a bit
as I stare down
at my library card
in my hands.

Then I look up,
and say (out loud),
"My library card
is made out of paper!"

There is this brief
yet horrifying pause
and then she says,
sounding eager to talk to me,
"Oh yes, and now,
you can get plastic ones!"

And that was
real progress for me.

I planned to follow it up
on other days,
with equally chatty statements,
but unfortunately,
that was the last time
I ever saw her.

-Jim DuBois
August 24, 2011

After the Funeral

2011-08-23T08:26:00.002-04:00

After the funeral,
there was nothing to say
which was not awkward,
nothing to say
which did not seem cliche,
but I kept trying anyway.

I talked to the father
of the deceased man.
I said things like
"It's very sad."
We didn't look at each other
and he said something like,
"I feel terrible,
especially for my grandson,"
and looked up at the trees
and shed some tears.
A half minute later,
he said something like,
"but we've got to get on with life,
and try to help the people
left behind."

I figured out that that moment
between us, however awkward,
however brief,
was important
because it was about caring,
and that what I said
didn't matter as much
as that I cared.

So, when the parents
of the deceased were leaving,
I went up to the mother,
and took her hand
and looked her in the eye
and said as warmly
as I have probably ever
said anything,
"take care."

-Jim DuBois
July 28, 2011

Yes, the Rain

2011-08-16T13:03:00.002-04:00

There is a first time
we each heard the rain,
or felt the wind,
or saw the sun.

Even now,
there are four new infants
who can't yet wonder
"what is rain?"
or
"why is there rain?"

They can just
hear it.

-Jim DuBois
Aug 15, 2011

Uncle Fred

2011-08-10T08:38:00.001-04:00

After the funeral
I met uncle Fred,
a talkative, friendly,
older Jewish man.

On his way out,
he said to me,
"So, you'll be up here
taking care of Rachel,
since you live nearby, right?"

I flushed, not being used to
being given direct commands,
but said, "yes, absolutely."

I thought that since he didn't know me,
and couldn't be there himself,
he was making sure the family
was taken care of,
letting me know
the importance of that.

I told this story
to his daughter,
who I met months later,
and said how I was impressed
and appreciated his directness.

She said,
"Uncle Fred's not usually
so direct,
but he is
an excellent judge of character."

-Jim DuBois
July 22, 2011

New Notebook

2011-08-04T01:37:00.000-04:00

New notebook,
($3.99)
new one dollar pen,
new poem...

Argh! The pressure!
Don't crack under
the pressure, man!

Grrr....
alright, got that
outta the way.

-Jim DuBois
July 12, 2011

Spring Peepers

2011-07-29T00:26:00.002-04:00

I heard the first spring peepers
the night after
_______ got put
in the psyche ward
at Cooley-dick

Somehow those little frogs
didn't get the news
that life has a hard edge,
somehow those little frogs
kept singing

-Jim DuBois
April 2, 1998

Nothingness

2011-07-23T17:03:00.001-04:00

- Jim DuBois
2008 and before

Art

2011-07-17T01:41:00.001-04:00

Sometimes you have to
tell your story
through art or poems
just to get a sense
of how magnificent
it really was.

-Jim DuBois
June 25, 2011

These New Pens

2011-07-08T16:21:00.003-04:00

Inauguration
of these new pens --
it reminds me
of many other times,
recorded by similar pens
and similar neurological alchemy
which turns ink scribbles
into meaning.

-Jim DuBois
June 17, 2011

Summer Solstice

2011-07-02T16:21:00.000-04:00

Summer Solstice, June 2011.
A cricket?
That little fucker's early!

-Jim DuBois
June, 2011

Romance/Science

2011-06-21T00:38:00.002-04:00

How do you cross that line
between talking
and dating?

I want to compare it to
crossing the event horizon
of a black hole.

You might not notice as you cross
but you are on your inevitable way
to that intense and singular point

And no information
can return to the outside world
to let anyone know how it finally happened.

On the other hand,

I want to put romance
into a high-powered particle accelerator
and smash it to it's elemental bits

So we can make lists
that say things like,
"romance always has at least 130 billion quarks."

Then we won't have to
ponder the mystery any longer.
Instead, if things aren't happening,

You can study the lists
and say,
"more quarks, my friend, more quarks!"

-Jim DuBois
May 22, 2011

Gone

2011-06-15T00:36:00.001-04:00

Gone,
for a little while
playing flute by the swamp
-- only the birds knew me

-Jim DuBois
June 5, 2011

in a dangerous state

2011-06-09T00:32:00.001-04:00

Went out in a dangerous state,
totally relaxed
and without desperate desires.

Felt very awake and aware.

Invisible and brightly burning
at the same time.

-Jim DuBois
May 14, 2011

Reading Jean-Paul Sartre

2011-06-03T22:57:00.003-04:00

I'm reading
Jean-Paul Sartre
for a laugh,

for the deep angsty zen,
for the anguish we can't escape,
for the anguish that we are.

-Jim DuBois
May 10, 2011

of

2011-05-27T22:54:00.001-04:00

Son of
improbably intelligent primates

Offspring of
supernovas of primordial stars

Descendent of
quantum fluctuations in the early universe

-Jim DuBois
May 9, 2011

To The Boats!

2011-05-21T00:37:00.002-04:00

To the boats!
One of our tribe has died.
Paddle hard across the treacherous waves
until the light returns.

One of our tribe has died.
Race the stormclouds!
until the light returns
and the water settles.

Paddle hard across the treacherous waves.
To the water!
To the boats!
We must move fast now.

To the boats!
Until the light returns.

-Jim DuBois
Sept 7 - 15, 2010

Noticing

2011-05-15T23:51:00.001-04:00

Late at night,
the clean sink,
the dream catcher,
memories of clear light
in the afternoon.

-Jim DuBois
April 12, 2011

Watching The Frightened Men

2011-05-09T23:44:00.000-04:00

At the Roost,
watching the frightened men
whose relationships
are mediated
by alcohol and women.

-Jim DuBois
April 9, 2011

At Least

2011-05-03T23:41:00.001-04:00

At least
there's people
downtown.

At least
there's people
at The Roost.

At least
there's a chance
of human contact.

-Jim DuBois
March 30, 2011

A Chance

2011-04-27T23:39:00.000-04:00

Sometimes,
a chance
is all you need.

-Jim DuBois
March 30, 2011

I've Been Struggling Lately

2011-04-21T23:32:00.005-04:00

Sitting at the Roost
in the middle of the day
feels so desolate,
but much less than
sitting on a stone stoop
on market street,
wishing for friends.

But then I glanced
at someone's laptop
and discovered they
were playing
Settlers of Catan online
and realized they were killing time too,
faking activity,
distracting themselves from desolation,
and it made me a little happier.

(Because I usually imagine
that everyone else
has lots of friends
and deep meaningful lives
and that I,
somehow,
was the only one who got screwed
out of those things)

And I won't let myself
end on that note,
because I have meaning in my life,
it's just that
I've been struggling lately,
like all humans
sometimes do.

-Jim DuBois
March 30, 2011

Two Old Men After a Funeral

2011-04-14T16:49:00.000-04:00

1.

Two old men,
patriarchs of their families,
leaning against the porch rail
after a funeral
- they thank me
for all the work
I have done
to take care of
their daughter and grandson.

I am caught off-guard
by my emotions.

I search for a reply,
then say,
"I felt it was important."

One of them replies,
"It was...
it is."

And I carry on.

2.

Two old men
after a funeral
remind me
that to care and to love
are important.

Two old men
after a funeral
pass down
ancient primate wisdom
and responsibilities.

-Jim DuBois
September 8, 2010

The Roost - #3

2011-04-08T23:37:00.001-04:00

They're playing Madonna
at The Roost,
and I'm writing
and waiting for Phil.

-Jim
March 12, 2011

The Roost - #2

2011-04-02T23:34:00.003-04:00

Sitting at The Roost,
wearing a spandex shirt
I inherited from
a fairly recently deceased friend.

It's too short,
and when I reach,
I worry
everyone will see
my underwear.

-Jim
March 12, 2011

The Roost - #1

2011-03-27T23:29:00.003-04:00

Sitting at the Roost,
pretending to be an intellectual,
or at least to be busy,
by writing thoughts in my notebook.

Sitting at the Roost,
wishing for more friends,
or at least for closer ones,
hoping to engage a human via technology.

Sitting at the Roost,
in the corner,
on the couch,
drinking tea
and writing,
to kill time,
or at least to try and enjoy it.

-Jim
March 12, 2011

not trying

2011-03-21T23:27:00.002-04:00

This is me
This is me not trying

I'm bored
and directionless

But the rain
sounds pretty

-Jim
March 10, 2011

mediocre

2011-03-15T13:06:00.000-04:00

WHy keep on
with the mediocre?

Like this pen.

I feel like I shouldn't
waste things.

Which isn't a bad idea,
but if it is applied
too rigidly and keeps you
in a rut,
isn't so helpful.

-Jim
Dec 17, 2010

Promises

2011-03-09T13:02:00.004-05:00

Before you died,
we knew you were sick
for a long time
and I always imagined
being there
for your final moments
and promising you
that I
would always
be there for your son.

(But) when your end came
you were unconscious
and in a different state
and it turns out
that those imagined moments
were disguised promises
to myself.

-Jim
Sep 15, 2010

gotta write a poem

2011-02-26T23:27:00.001-05:00

gotta write a
gotta write a poem

"When in the course of..."

No, no!
Not right

gotta write a poem

"I think that I shall see..."

No!

Done

-Jim
Feb 20, 2011

My Church

2011-02-20T14:12:00.001-05:00

My church
is the sun
and the dirt
and now.

-Jim

you gave up hope

2011-02-12T23:27:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry
you gave up hope
so long ago

-- but cut it out!

the world needs you back.

-Jim
Jan 28, 2011

Long Dream of the Stars

2011-02-06T23:22:00.002-05:00

...like galactic sentinels
...like guideposts
...like will-o-the-wisps
of the deep vast cold

...like angry protesters
of the darkness
...like fiery anchors
dropped into space
...like mitochondria
of an emerging super-being

-Jim
Jan 31, 2011

There's Still Time

2011-01-31T23:17:00.002-05:00

There's still time
to surprise me,
to show up randomly at my door
and pledge yourself
to the revolution
and to me,
to don your old heroic gear
and enter the battle
once more,
to open up your mouth
and say no
to the things that need
to be said no to,
to stand up,
to fight for love,
to reach for other humans,
to be brave,
to open your heart.

-Jim DuBois
Jan 28, 2011

Return of the Slacker - The Book

2011-01-22T03:27:00.003-05:00

I made a book out of the last three years of this blog, and you can get a copy, which contains all 182 entries, as well as a color print on the cover of a painting I made. It's really fun to have.

Get a copy here

Sweetheart

2011-01-08T00:24:00.000-05:00

I hear the footsteps
of my sweetheart
ascending the steps
of our building

Now, all I have to do
is meet her

-Jim DuBois
March 13, 1998

Soft and Tender Love Stories

2011-01-01T00:20:00.000-05:00

-Jim DuBois,
c 2003

The Enemy of Imagination

2010-12-24T08:49:00.001-05:00

He was the enemy of imagination,
you couldn't draw him,
or even imagine what he looked like.

Whenever you would try,
you just saw images like grey fog at twilight
and a foot disappearing behind a door.

-Jim DuBois
Dec 14, 2003

Undercover

2010-12-18T09:47:00.000-05:00

Under cover of
the wild birds
singing at dawn,
I can't ever be
who I used to be,
anymore.

-June 18, 2006

Doubt

2010-12-14T00:39:00.001-05:00

Waves of doubt wash over me
as I lie next to you
trying to sleep.

Will I ever show you
this poem?

-Jim DuBois
June 25, 2006

A Certain Peace

2010-12-06T10:14:00.002-05:00

The first time I remember
walking down route 9
by St. John's church
in Northampton,

I had given up hope
and was carrying
a rolled up blanket
and looking for a place
to sleep.

I had given up hope
of finding people
of finding my way
of finding a home,

but there was a certain peace
that settled over me
in that moment
(maybe because
I had stopped trying)
and then Julian pulled up
on the street
(in Steve's british car
he was borrowing without asking)
and took me to stay
at the Cummington Community
for the Arts
for a few days.

I remember wandering around
up there,
going into the weird little cabins
(which I later learned were private),
sitting in a field
playing flute
which echoed back nicely
from the hills
and imagining
I was the long lost son
of a woman I imagined
lived in the little old house
nearby.

I remember eating a lot of carrots
and seeing Lauren's
circular art cabin,
with the hand-made walk,
nestled in the edge
of the woods.

Now it is nearly twenty years later
and I am sitting on State street
on the low stone wall
by Edwards church
and I am trying
not to try
and to give up hopes
I have of other people,

and even though
I've had insomnia recently
and my best friend's husband
died three months ago
and we (including her three
and a half year old son)
haven't found our bearings yet,
a certain peace
has settled over me again
and I am using it
to relax,
to remember,
and to write.

-Jim DuBois
Nov 13, 2010

Insomniac Math

2010-11-30T01:21:00.002-05:00

Let's see...
I couldn't fall asleep right away
so it was maybe 430 or 5
then there were those weird dreams that kept waking me up
plus those fing dogs barking in the morning
and now what the fuck was that?
I think mom or dad just came into the extra room I'm staying in
probably to get something she or he forgot
but possibly just to accidentally wake me

now it's 1146
so it adds up to probably 6 1/2 restless hours
if I was lucky
but it's more likely to equal
that I'm tired and irritated
and the day is screwed.

Sounds like my brother and nephew are here now though
and at least I'll get to eat a lot
plus I got more sleep than the 3 hours I kept fearing
so I'm probably not screwed as hard as I thought.

-Jim DuBois
Nov 25, 2010

Abstract Art Calendar

2010-11-24T09:15:00.000-05:00

Last week I made these calendars for 2011, which feature paintings and collage I made.

Get a copy at RedBubble.

Get a copy at RedBubble.

Birds at the Feeder

2010-11-18T23:51:00.002-05:00

-Jim DuBois
2006ish

Epic Tag-Sale Poem *

2010-11-11T00:14:00.005-05:00

1.

Jenny, you're away
but tag-sale season started today.
I did what I had to do:
I went without you.

I didn't get as far
as we would've with your car.
I got some books and some games
but by myself it just wasn't the same.

2.

I remember --
last summer --
driving around to tag-sales
with you
hunting for bargains
and perfect satisfaction.

Now, even though
I've almost finished
the toothpaste
and gotten rid of
the weird literary magazines,
I think our hunt
succeeded.

3.

Coming back to town
late Saturday afternoon
I saw many signs
for huge tag-sales
with great bargains.

Neither you nor I
could go to them
since we were
separately
out-of-town.

-Jim DuBois
Pt 1 - April 29, 2006,
Pt 2 & 3 - June 19, 2006

* A Tag Sale means a Yard Sale or Garage Sale, which is where people put things they want to sell out in their yard or garage. I picked up the term "Tag Sale" from living in Western MA, and have not heard it elsewhere.

Bus Stops

2010-11-05T00:12:00.001-04:00

I like bus stops
because no-one
thinks it's weird
if you stand there
doing nothing
for a long time.

-Jim DuBois
Dec 15, 2002

Backstage

2010-10-30T00:41:00.001-04:00

Some days,
you are sitting backstage
from your life
relaxing, eating a bagel,
thinking of what to do next,
waiting for them to play the music
that's your cue
to walk on stage

-Jim DuBois
Oct 21, 2010

Faded

2010-10-24T02:05:00.001-04:00

I.

I never thought
those times would
become faded

Or that my voice might be
the spectre of the past
calling out,
reminding you,
reminding me,
of something…

…something indistinct
but important,
locked away in memory,
in childhood,
in these faded photographs
of who we used to be
but can never be again.

II.

I never thought
those times would
become faded,
but these photographs
tell the true story,
that we weren’t who we
thought we were,
and we still aren’t,
and it’s only by a trick
of the mind
and avoidance of the sight of our old bad
hair cuts
that we convince ourselves
that nothing’s changed.

III.

Sometimes something
indistinct can tell us
more than something precise,
because what is essential
is dynamic and can’t be captured…

…we can only be reminded of it,
and experience it anew.

We have memories and feelings
about the past
but no more moments of it.

IV.

I look out the window,
watching the grey weather
quietly drop snow onto Northampton
as I write down some thoughts
that came to me
after looking at these old pictures.

I know that one day,
this moment will also fade,
this ink will disappear and
the paper crumble.

Until then
I just want to say:

We still have time
to be who we’ve
always been.

-Jim DuBois
2005?

Momentary Ambition

2010-10-18T02:01:00.000-04:00

Sometimes there's no guide
Sometimes there's no right or wrong,
only a momentary ambition
to climb into your eyes

Sometimes there's nothing to understand
Sometimes there's no rules,
only love
you didn't expect

-Jim DuBois
Dec 8, 1998

The Places I Think You Might Have Been

2010-10-12T01:51:00.000-04:00

Walking by the places
I think you might have been.

Scratch off tickets
litter the sidewalk
that leads to the house
a friend of yours
might
have lived in.

Walking by the places
I saw you last.

Eight years ago
I met you briefly
behind the counter
at the Pleasant Street Theater.

Once at Bread and Circus
we talked for a moment,
but I can't remember
what we said.

Six months ago
we waved and said hello
in the parking lot
behind Thornes
I smiled and blushed
and fell in love.

Walking by you,
a few weeks ago
on main street,
I felt my stomach clenching
and I ducked behind a tree
even though I wanted
to be brave.

-Jim DuBois
June 27, 2005

"steel candy-cake perfume"

2010-10-06T01:46:00.000-04:00

I remember that time
that you said
"steel candy-cake perfume"
and
Karl Marx
rose from the dead,
not came back to life,
just rose
straight up
UP
UP
into the air
and disapearred,
heading out
towards the
Oort cloud
and the horsehead
nebula

Well, that's the last time
I'll sing butterflies
of
supercluster cadences

-Jim DuBois
June 19, 2006

Semi-sweet broken hearts

2010-09-30T01:43:00.001-04:00

Semi-sweet
broken hearts

absorbing heat
from the landscape

of lost love

because somedays

the sun isn't enough

-Jim DuBois
Aug 27, 2008

Fox News, etc

2010-09-21T17:00:00.000-04:00

Propaganda machines
of the conservative capitalist empire
running at full force
to cover the cracks
in the foundation,
to distract and anger
the people
from their chance
to help deal it
a death blow

-Jim DuBois
Sept 4, 2010

Old Working Class Women

2010-09-15T02:19:00.000-04:00

Old working class women,
smoking in the little park near the parking garage,
gossiping about this guy
who lives in their building -
they can't let each other finish their sentences,
they are agitated, but talkative and friendly.

Sometimes they wish they could afford
a better place to live.

-Jim DuBois
August 19, 2010

Evolution of Existence

2010-09-09T02:15:00.002-04:00

I went outside
to eat two bananas
and enjoy the shade
and breeze

Then I reflected
on the nature
of my existence
as people have done
since they were people

Then I typed in
some poems
on my telephone
which sent them
through radio-waves
to some distant
computer server
so I could retrieve them
later

-Jim DuBois
August 19, 2010

Quark Dreams

2010-09-03T08:11:00.001-04:00

I had this dream
that I was explaining to Robby
that when electrons jump from state to state,
they sometimes emit photons.

I woke up
and thought about
that living beings
are made of the same stuff,
like electrons and protons,
as other matter,
and that
all those weird quantum things
apply to the underpinnings
of our own selves.

Do we emit photons
every once in an improbable while?
do our protons ever decay?
do we have junk DNA and multiple back up RNA
to compensate for quantum randomness
that might disturb our
cellular reproduction?

I pictured us
as glowing collections
of subatomic particles,
heat, trapped and controlled
by elaborate methods,
like neurons and DNA.

-Jim DuBois
August 19, 2010

Lame Little Bird

2010-08-28T02:10:00.000-04:00

Lame little bird,
leg stuck out sideways,
dragging across the ground,
hopping around like everything is normal,
you are made of
Quarks and Protons, too!

-Jim DuBois
August 19, 2010

SItting on your couch

2010-08-21T23:03:00.001-04:00

Sitting on your couch,
Wanting to be closer to you,
Wondering what I should do (if anything).
Maybe I'll show you this?

-Jim DuBois
Fall 2007

American Spirit

2010-08-15T18:40:00.001-04:00

I keep finding these
discarded American Spirit
cigarette boxes
and thinking it's ironic
(ha ha Indians are
back to nature, etc,
funny to see it here, etc)
but then I realized
tt wasn't, it was actually
a message from
the true American Corporate Spirit:
Kill people, take their image
idealize it to sell
addictive things
to help control
the population
and make a profit,
and leave trash
in the wilderness.

-Jim DuBois
April 25, 2010

Like the Sun - #17

2010-08-09T08:18:00.001-04:00

To lead people well,
you must be one of them,
no better or worse,
no more or less deserving.

Don’t glorify your achievements,
don’t hide your difficulties.

Who you are will be enough.

Let others go before you,
let others come after.

When you are just another person,
with no selfish desires,
your leadership will last and be effective.

- Jim DuBois

[This is an excerpt from my book, Like The Sun, from the section about leadership. Get the whole book]

Like the Sun - #66

2010-08-03T08:09:00.003-04:00

Have you seen the great canyons,
carved hundreds of feet through stone
into the earth?

It was only flowing water and time
that achieved such a spectacular result.

But on any given day,
you won’t see much evidence
of this occurring.

It can be useful to picture your efforts
in life similarly.

Each day you put effort into
your work, a bit here and a bit there.

Most often there is no immediate drama as a result,
but sometimes you can see the canyon-like effect,
stretching backwards in time.

You don’t need to do more
than to be persistent in your efforts to achieve something.

Indeed, there is hardly a way
you could force all the effort
required for spectacular things
into one day.

-Jim DuBois

[This is an excerpt from my book, Like The Sun, from the section about getting stuff done. Get the whole book]

Like the Sun - #1

2010-07-28T08:02:00.000-04:00

The sun!

Radiating warmth to everyone,
sustaining life on earth,
needing no credit,
exerting no extra credit.

You can be like that:

Doing work that comes easily and naturally to you,
improving the lives of those around you,
changing situations for the better with your presence.

- Jim DuBois

[This is an excerpt from my book, Like The Sun, from the section about relating to people. Get the whole book]

Sometimes (again)

2010-07-22T08:16:00.001-04:00

Sometimes,
the food you pick out
is exactly as delicious
as you had hoped.

-Jim DuBois
July 18, 2010

Everlasting

2010-07-17T14:10:00.002-04:00

Old guy, reading the paper
at Stop & Shop,
"I'm one of those
everlasting survivors."

-Jim DuBois

Enough

2010-07-15T17:15:00.000-04:00

Far enough
Wide enough
Long enough

enough

Expansive feeling of life
at the railroad bridge
over the Connecticut river

-Jim DuBois
April 14, 2010

My Heart Has Always Been My Own

2010-07-09T16:18:00.000-04:00

My heart has always been my own
with its own ways
and words
loving when it does
who it does
however it does

You might notice it,
you might not
- that is your business

-Jim DuBois
April 14, 2010

A Neuron Firing

2010-07-03T08:46:00.001-04:00

A neuron firing,
An idea forming,
A muscle moving.

A letter!
A word!
A sentence, and a poem!

What next?

A person,
A planet,
A galaxy!

The forces of Gravity!
The speed of Light!

-Jim DuBois
c1998?

no time to wait

2010-06-27T08:35:00.001-04:00

There is no time to wait, no new day coming with the promise of liberation.
There is no time to wait for the right words,
no time to wait for the world to be ready.

There is no time to wait for audiences or art
No time to wait for fear to go away
No time to consider whether your actions will be right or wrong

no time for things to be finished
no time to wait for someone else to approve or say I love you
No time to rehearse for tommorrow

no time but imperfect now

-Jim DuBois
c1994 (originally written on the inside of old raisin boxes)

Like the Sun

2010-06-16T16:31:00.000-04:00

I wrote a book of poetry philosophy, and will be putting up a few selections from it on this blog, but you can get a copy now:

Like the Sun

We Will Remember You

2010-06-12T23:05:00.002-04:00

We will remember you,
said the stars and the rain

We will remember you,
said the flames of the sun

We will remember you,
said the mass of humanity.

We will place you
in our collected memories
and pass you on
and on
and on

-Jim DuBois
June 12, 2010

Fragments

2010-06-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

Broken and re-formed
Like dna or atomic nuclei
Or life and death of stars

-Jim DuBois

Somebody Else

2010-06-03T07:54:00.001-04:00

He used to be somebody else,
but he rarely remembered who,
and even then
it was more of a feeling or a dream
than a clear memory.

-Jim DuBois
May 2009

Paladin

2010-05-27T08:31:00.001-04:00

Paladin with shining heart
emerges into the sun
-- the world is saved.

- Jim DuBois
Oct 24, 2008

(Poem)

2010-05-27T00:01:00.000-04:00

Peeking in the dance window...
no one there to dance with...
no way will I pay $5!

-Jim DuBois

Adult Life

2010-05-21T08:29:00.000-04:00

View 1

Breed work consume
Die

View 2

work work work work
work work work work
work work work work
work work work work
work work work work
work work work work
work work work work
work work work work
work work work work

Die

-Jim DuBois
Sep 2005

The World Didn't Stop Turning

2010-05-15T18:23:00.001-04:00

The world didn't stop turning --
the moon rose,
the stars shifted --

but we were safe,
drifting through time
on our raft
of that long embrace,

for a while
really living,

just being there
at the center of things

caught up
in the trees and water around us

caught up
in the only moment there was.

-Jim DuBois
Sept 21, 2000

The Worst

2010-05-09T08:40:00.000-04:00

I like to save

the worst
for last

and then
skip right over it

-Jim DuBois
Dec 16, 2002

Astronaut

2010-05-03T08:47:00.002-04:00

I used to be
an astronaut,
floating out, way out,
somewhere between
the galaxies.

They sent me there
on some mission we all
forgot about,
but luckily I got rescued
by some aliens who brought
me home.

-Jim DuBois
2004

Upon Opening My Kitchen Door

2010-04-27T08:43:00.001-04:00

Upon opening my kitchen door
I see a strange chair
which startles me for a moment
and then I remember
in a rush
how we stole that chair
last night
on a date.

-Jim DuBois
July 15, 2007

It Was A Good Day

2010-04-21T17:09:00.001-04:00

Going to bed last night,
I suddenly remembered
you, barefoot,
calmly leading the Clydesdales^*
out to the pasture,
while I ate mulberries
and watched
from up in the tree,
and later,
we ate red raspberries
off the vines
and talked about
how the world
keeps on giving.

-Jim DuBois
April 13, 2010

* a Clydesdale is a type of horse. They are very large and stocky.
Learn more about them

It Rained So Hard

2010-04-15T08:35:00.001-04:00

I'm staring
at this swamp
and remembering that time
when we were young
and it rained so hard
a pond formed
next to the junkyard
and we built a raft
from old tires
and the hood of a truck
and floated around
in the rain.

-Jim DuBois
April 12, 2010