Some things from today

Some things from today
(while you're away in England):

Chocolate cake from Woodstar at 9:30 am.
Not as good as before.
Glad I went back
for another piece.
Laundry
(yours and mine)
and cleaning
(sweeping and picking up)
at your house.

Further plans include:
Reading in the hammock,
pulling up seedlings
and raking,
cooking an egg or two
for lunch.

Later I am going
to play Magic
and eat with Jesús,
which I am sure
you want to know about
because you love
me doing what I love.

Love
Love
Love


-Jim DuBois
May 20, 2016

Falling in Love is Like...

Falling in love is like
when you first
come in from the cold
and you can't quite
feel your toes and fingers yet.

Falling in love is like
waking up from
a bad dream
when you're still
panicked that
the crazy/scary/sad thing
might be true.

Falling in love
is a huge disaster
for my cherished
sense of unwantability.

Falling in love
is ruining my plan
to bitterly face
middle age on my own.

Falling in love is like
waiting for the sunrise,
that part where you're like,
"C'mon, c'mon, any minute now! When? When?"

Falling in love is like
walking on your foot
when its fallen asleep
- before circulation returns
every step is agony.

Falling in love
is dangerous
to my comfortable loneliness

Falling in love
is devastating
to my lack of
self-esteem.


-Jim DuBois
Dec 25, 2015

Waking up at 3:21 am on Valentine's Day

Waking up at 3:21 am
on Valentine's Day...
"Do you hear that beeping?"
and it was
the smoke detector downstairs
chirping out its
low battery alarm,
so we took out
its battery
and I was making jokes
about my bitterness,
about missing sleep,
which made you laugh
and when we got back in bed
you kept giggling
and accidentally bumping me
with the hot water bottle
and making me twitch a little
while we were trying to sleep
and I was like,
"Oh, so my misfortune
and bitterness is funny
to you?"
which made you laugh even more
and then the loud heater
came on
and it seemed more and more
like we'd lose the battle for sleep,
like a sitcom
where everything keeps going wrong
and it's funny from the outside,
so I said,
"Happy Valentine's Day!"
and we laughed.

I wanted to end this poem
with something like
"And there was no one else
I'd rather have been with,
or hear giggling about my bitterness
in the middle of the night,"
because that is really true,
even though those words
are a little cliche
and I thought about
other ways to say it
or imply it
but nothing better
occurred to me,
so I decided
that maybe the best way
sometimes
is just to ramble on
and say I love you a lot,
and be a little cliche
anyway,
be a little imperfect,
a little flawed,
just like
that night
which was so wonderful
anyway.


-Jim DuBois
Feb 16, 2016

Everything I did while you were under for surgery

I really
couldn't bear the thought
of you missing out
on even a little half hour
of life,
so I decided
to record
everything I did
while you were under,
as a present for you.

First I mailed out Magic cards
with Dimitri,
then we went to
Veracruzana
to get bean burritos.
I wasn't too hungry
but it was cold
and eating is such a delight
I wanted to include it.

Then I got the idea
for this poem
and snagged a pen and napkin
from the counter
and started writing.

...

Took a break
to eat one of those
delicious chocolate coconut bars
from the Roost
just to indulge.

And in between
and through all these things
I have been loving you,
holding you in my heart,
thinking of you,
waiting for you to return,
eager to see you later today.

Now we're headed out
to get more cards
and play some Magic,
and you should
be waking up
now too.


-Jim DuBois
Feb 12, 2016 1:17pm

And Never Let

I know that we
worry needlessly
about disasters
and about one
or the other
of us dying,
but I decided
just after I woke up
that if you died
unexpectedly,
I would love you
anyway,
keep writing you
poems,
talk out loud
to you,
think about you
all the time
and never let
death win


-Jim DuBois
Jan 3, 2016

Preconception

I said, "I like you."
You said, "That means you don't love me."

I said, "I love you."
You said, "You're just saying that
    because of what I said."

I said, "No, no! It's true: I love you."
You said, "You don't look at me
    the right way when you say it."

I said, "I'm not sure what to do."
You said, "I knew you didn't love me."


-Jim DuBois
March 5, 2010

two people

Sometimes it's just
two people
building a little boat of love
to stay afloat
in the chaotic universe

Sometimes it's just
two people
not lovers
not perfect friends
but close enough to matter

Sometimes it's just
two people,
even though
they wished for more,
and two will work

Sometimes it's just
two people
two ordinary people
two imperfect people
two good people.


-Jim DuBois
Jan 5, 2007

Notes from 2015

1. Things take time.
2. Progress is incremental.
3. Love adds meaning to life.
4. Perseverance is important to achieving things.
5. Life ends up being what it is instead of what you wished it was; but if you accept that you can work with it and move forward.

-Jim DuBois
Inspired by the previous entry.

no special people

There are no special people out there
no good perfect magical ones
it only seems that way sometimes
in a desperate moment
or an endorphin rush

You don't find good relationships
you build them

Can you work
with who you've got?

-Jim DuBois
April 9, 2014

Love, Mustard, or Sex

How long can _____ last?

Does _____ leave a bad taste in your mouth
when it goes bad?

Can _____ break your heart?

Can _____ make your sandwiches taste better?

Can _____ make your stomach hurt?

Can _____ drive you to make art?


-Jim DuBois

Everywhere

The sun shines everywhere.
Love is moments away.

-Jim DuBois
March 12, 2012 - April 9, 2014

You are a Spider

You are a spider
You are capturing
moments of love
Your web breaks easily
Luckily, you were made
to build webs well


-Jim DuBois
c2006

Love Note

Your heart
      was made
                to love me

Don't deny it
      the chance


-Jim DuBois
Jan 23, 2013

Love and Lust

We could go on
confusing
love and lust.

We, all of humanity,
could go on
like that,

but let's start
a new era
instead.


-Jim DuBois
April 15, 2013

Sometimes - eBook

I have a new poetry book in eBook format, available on the iTunes Bookstore for $2.99.

It is a collection of early poems by me, featuring themes of love, loneliness, space travel and spirituality.

Many of the poems have not appeared on this blog.



Get a copy.

Or view my all my books, eBook and print, as well.

The Feast

A blackout poem.

-Jim DuBois

Hope and Dread

Hope
    and
        Dread,

Hope
    and
        Dread,

as I walk down the sidewalk
I last saw you on.


II –

I don’t know how to say it
and I don’t know how to not say it:
to believe it or deny it:

“Yes, ______”
“Yes, ______”
“Yes, ______”


-Jim DuBois
1997?

Yes by Yes

-Jim DuBois
2004

What We Wished We Could Have Said

If I go down,
if I lose my way,
hold onto the truths
I told you
beforehand:

I love you.

You are magnificent
  like stars.

The world is better
  with you in it.

My universe
  can't exist
  without you.


-Jim DuBois
July 14, 2012

Twins

I.

The day those twins
were born,
I walked up to the hospital
to greet them.

It would have been easy,
in one way,
to do nothing,
but I saw this chance
to do good
and I took it.

Many hours later
I walked home
having greeted the newborns
and been kind to the new parents.


II.

1/2 hour walk to get there
2 couples, 2 sets of twins
4 parents, 4 newborns
4 parents, friends of mine
4 newborns, new friends
1/2 hour walk back home


III.

I spent about twenty hours
that week in the hospital,
sometimes til 2 in the morning,
helping do something important
but undervalued
in the world.


I remember holding
one twin in the solarium
while the other 3 were
being held by other
friends and family
so the parents
could get some sleep.

Mostly I just gazed down
at the little one
sleeping in my arms,
and absorbed and radiated
serenity,
but sometimes
I would glance up
and catch the eye
of my friend
holding the other twin
and connect
with big smiles.

It was one of the
most peaceful times
I have ever had.


Also, one night
I got to help
feed some twins
supplemental milk
so they would gain weight.

If you have never
had to have a friend
gently open a newborn's mouth
so you could slowly drop in some milk,
you have missed
one of the greatest events
that occurred on the planet.


During that week I was
my most true self
that I have been
in a long time.


-Jim DuBois
March 1, 2012