The Economy of Memory

I'm watching a sea of static on TV
    late at night

I'm talking to my girlfriend on the phone

I'm writing a poem
    and finishing it later

I'm living in a tent behind Hampshire College

I'm going nowhere

I'm standing on the balcony of F2,
    going nowhere

I'm living on Bridge Street in Northampton

I'm thinking about thinking

I'm thinking about memory

I'm taking off my shirt

I'm looking at the clock

I'm wondering how it will end
    and when it began

I'm floating, a tiny black-eyed fetus
    in amniotic fluid

I'm making notes for a future poem

I'm learning to write the alphabet
    by tracing sandpaper letters

I'm writing a story for the first time
    in my life

I am six

I am twenty-five

I am thirty-four

I'm telling her about myself

I'm using her attention
    to search through my memory,
    to reconstruct myself
    from different angles

I'm telling you about telling her

I'm remembering remembering



-Jim DuBois
Dec 13, 2003

Artifacts of my Intelligence

Artifacts of my intelligence
Artifacts of my imagination
Artifacts of my existence,
    like a poem or a painting

Artifacts of my consciousness
Artifacts of my memory
Artifacts of my mind,
    like a signature or a sentence

leftover creations,
manipulated playthings,
static reminders
of a fluid mind
-- they can't be me --
I just leave behind things
which illuminate a tiny fraction
of my complexity,
that might give you that clue
you've been looking for for so long
that shows you are not alone
-- someone, some other mind,
    is out there,
        thinking,
            doing,
                creating.


-Jim DuBois
March 29, 2009

Overlooked

I hear there is more
    old growth forest left in Massachusetts
    than they thought.

In narrow bands,
    too high for logging,
    too low to clear for skiing,
        they stand in the mountains
            like they always have
                because no one had a use
                    for the place they lived.

And I want to look
    behind a person’s eyes,
        to the ruined landscape,
                to the left-over places
                of their minds
            just to see what
                is still growing there,
                    undisturbed
                        by the turbulence
                            of oppression.

Those places that went un-noticed
    by society,
    the places they forgot were there.


-Jim DuBois
January 20, 1999

(Discarded Left-over Abandoned Forgotten)Edges + Lost Places

                             vacant upstairs apartment
I broke into the

And crept out onto the roof

I kept thinking of
            the cracks in the sidewalk
            the grass growing in the alley
            the vines on the fence
                  between the parking lots

The forgotten places where
      two things border one another

The discarded, left-over space between
      one clear definition and another

Cracks
            Borders
                        Edges

The places people rarely look into
            like beneath the sofa cushions where the change collects

or
      the strip of trees beside the highway where I
found the skull of a dog
and undergrowth so thick
      you couldn’t walk through it


-Jim DuBois
July 20, 1998

Frontiers and Membranes

The river meets the bank –
      the garbage,
      the old bricks on the beach
      the dead fish

Discarded signs of life
      washed up
      in a useless
      forgotten place

Nobody knows,
      Nobody cares,
            Nobody goes there,
                  down where the
                  bushes are scratchy,
                  down among
                  the poison ivy
                  where the aluminum can
                  and broken Styrofoam chunks
                        are resting

And what about the bugs
      we don’t even know exist?
What about the bacteria
      that live in colonies
      on our skin?
What about maggots and dung beetles?

Their whole existence is on the
      edge of another life,
      between the lines of someone else’s
            plans

The things we were done with
      the places we couldn’t use


-Jim DuBois
Oct 1, 1998

I've Lost Track of Time

I've lost track of time
I've lost track of day and night
I've come to the edge of town
to sit and think
and apparently write some poems

I've lost track of what little ambition I had
I've lost track of my desire
I'm enjoying the sun and day downtown


-Jim DuBois
March 14, 2009

Spring

Dirty snow melt-off
trickles down the drain
  - spring is here!

-Jim

Another Short Poem

Sittin' here,
doin' nothin',
it's all
Sun and Now
and Whatever

-Jim DuBois

A World Full of Strangers

Time cracks the face of youth,
time cracks the images of your idols
– you’re not in love with
a person any longer,
just images
from years ago.

Even the people you knew,
you don’t still know,
they’re just distorted memories.

Who do you know?
Who do you think you know?
‘Cause you only know
who they just were.


-Jim DuBois
2005?

Genetic Astrology

They say
your destiny
has been written

in the stars
of your genetic make-up.

You can only be
so smart
so inventive
so analytical
you know.

Your mind
has been made up
for you,
since you were
born under the
constellation
of the
double helix.

It is a system
that has a place
for all of us,
even those destined
to be toilet cleaners
and idiots –
just remember
never to rise above
your station
or have any ambitions –
you’ll only be
disappointed by
your limitations.

There’s no arguing
with science.

Now go back
to that stupid job
and quit complaining.


-Jim DuBois
Aug 1, 2005

The Sound of What If

The sound of what if
The sound of whatever
Some days it's 'ooo, ahh'
And some days it's 'oh well'


-Jim DuBois

Mini-Skirt

She wore that mini-skirt
like a chain around her neck.


-JD
1997?

What To Do Next (Jan 11, 2009)

"I'm a free man
and it doesn't matter
what I do right now,"
I thought to myself
and it completely
left me stumped
about what to do next,
so I stood on the corner
by the car place,
spit into the snow
and watched the shiny fringe
flutter in the sun.


-Jim DuBois

The Sun (Dec 13, 2008)

There is a first
and a last time
you ever see the sun.

-Jim

Oberon Returns (Jan 28, 2009)

Oberon returns,
    running full force
    through the veil of worlds,
    wearing his magic white boots
    and gossamer armor.

He breaks through
    into the land
    of snow and ice,
    crouching low
        in the drifts,
    feral and vital,
    hunting, hunting
    for the flower
    with the thousand year berries,
    and the alabaster bones
    of the griffon.


-Jim DuBois

Just Keep Running

I remember running at Hampshire College...

...through the woods & snow with Cedar,
reckless and excited,
because we could,
and I don't remember why.

...jumping and yelling, like a dog,
behind Amy skiing,
later running in the snowstorm
without a shirt
(and once without my shoes ... brrr)
to amuse & impress her
and just to let out
the energy
of my desire.

...across from Greenwich to Prescott
with Dave and Rachel,
getting tired halfway
and stopping
for a moment in the sun
to say,
"I just realized
that when you get that feeling
that you're too tired,
and can't go on,
you have to just keep running,"
and we got up
and ran.

-Jim DuBois

Weight

If that weight
was lifted,
how would you live?

- Jim

Walking Shirtless (Sept 17, 2005)

Walking shirtless
up a back trail
at Mt. Tom,
I feel the airy spider-webs
cross my chest

Running back down
I am drenched
by the sudden rain


-Jim DuBois

Philsophical Questions for the Modern Age

1.

If a tree falls in the forest
but is recorded by
an automated survelliance camera
and later the video ends up on YouTube
but people only watch it with the sound off,
did that tree make a noise?

2.

What happens to your Facebook account when you die?

3.

There are billions of fabulous human beings in the world. Why do we so often feel alone?

- Jim DuBois

This is the Coat (March 31, 2007)

This
is the coat

This is the coat

This is the coat
I wore when you were born

This is the coat
my brother gave me

This is the coat
I wore every day this week


-Jim DuBois