Here and Now

Here and now,
greater than any
fame or fortune
greater than any
achievement.


-Jim DuBois
Jan 1, 2012

Modern Talisman

There's a book
I keep by the side of my bed.

I got it
at the estate sale
of a woman who had lived
to be one hundred and three
(and still had all her teeth,
said the daughter).

It's called "Forever Young,"
a thin book
about
ways to stay healthy
and live longer.

I flipped through it
and noticed
starred passages
and underlining.

I purchased it
for a quarter.

On the surface,
I pretend I will read it
one day
and learn its amazing secrets.

But really,
it's a talisman
from a powerful wizard
and I'm keeping it
for its arcane
magical powers
to extend my life.


-Jim DuBois
Dec 28, 2011

About D--th

About D--th
(whose name is so evil
I will never say it):
It is a robbery of what is most precious: [life]

No true God condones d--th
with fairy tale stories of heaven.

No religion that says you get another life
(which only pacifies you into accepting the BS of d--th,
never gives you another life)
is hopeful.

F--k the d--th penalty!
Everyone who thinks it is a good thing
is seriously deluded.
How can we steal like that?

But murderers? F them too!
and warmongers
and greedy killer capitalists
and anti-environmentalists
and racists
and everyone who profits off of war
F F F them.

Don't think I will go quietly.
If it comes down to it,
I'll use my last breath to say,
"This is robbery! Scr-w the cruel god that made it this way. And F the random universe, too."

There is only life,
whose name I will say
over and over:
Life! Life! Life!

I want to keep it,
to promote that it is the most important thing we have,
and strive to preserve it.


-Jim DuBois
August 24, 2010

because you told me

I woke up
as a bad-ass madman poet,
stalking downtown,
daring you to cross me,
to try to fuck me over,
because you told me to "break"
and what you don't know is
I never will,
but then I felt
a horrible desperate loneliness,
injected behind my eyes like fire,
melting my neurons together,
seizing my limbs,
and it was a feeling the night couldn't cure
and fucking can only hold at bay
and fucking and fucking and fucking
can only hold at bay.


-Jim DuBois
12/11/08

Already

The time
          is already
                wasted

The dream
          is already
                gone


-Jim DuBois
2001?

A Veces

A veces,
solamente
la luz del corazón


-Jim DuBois
Sep 11, 2011

Saying

Just remember
what
my dear old
imaginary dad
used to say,

"If I got
a key to your house,
I'm gonna
eat
your Fritos."


-Jim DuBois
Nov 6, 2011

I like jars

I like jars
I'm 36
I'm your secret boyfriend

Do you want
to see my antlers?


-Jim DuBois
Jan 14, 2006

Early Morning

Early morning is like
    a foreign country,
populated mainly
    by birds
      and
      empty soda cans



-Jim DuBois
April 26,1999

wtf #2

crumble jacket oxygen salt oil abduction
summer blast maple smudge battery bombast
strict chalk vine bungle brake return


-Jim DuBois
April 15 2005

essential rhythm fish

Blind wet candy wax
worry dog window cake
translucent thing think
essential rhythm fish


- Jim DuBois
c 1999

Lying

When we were 7 or 8,
we used to piss
off the stone wall
by the street.

Jeff's father
asked him
if we did.

Jeff said no.
His father said
"that's called lying."

After that, we'd say
"I have to lie"
and go piss
off the wall.


-Jim DuBois
April 19, 2005

Wading Through Time

Wading through time
    like drunken soldiers,
killing time
    wasting time,
    like totally wasting it, man

Like some kind of
        Lazy heroes


-Jim DuBois
2004?

Bulldozing my Childhood

They are bulldozing my childhood,
burying my memories
under the foundations
of another new subdivision,
quietly making a buck,
and severing some nasty roots
to make way
for another american dream.


-Jim DuBois
1999?

First Love (running through the snow)

All we really had were those shining moments,
    sleeping together
        under the grey wings
            of winter,

Running through the snow
    beneath the sheltering sky
        between long dreams
            and desires for which we
                had no voice.


-Jim DuBois
Summer 1997

What Was Revealed

Like someone turning up the volume
    when you didn't know the music was playing

Like scattering clouds from
    the face of the sun

Like a thousand folded days
    stuffed into fragile boxes
    and thrown to the wind,
        blooming like instant flowers
            wherever they land,
        growing like vines
            that hold the world together.


-Jim DuBois
April 21, 2004

Say Something!

Many years ago now,
I had this unbearable
crush on a librarian
at the Forbes library.

It was the kind of crush
that left me
unable to talk
in her presence.

I would go by
every few days
and get out books
just to see if she
was there,
and invariably,
if she was,
utter a timid thanks
and leave.

It was so unbearable
that I resolved one day
to say something
next time,
no matter what.

(Now, I must tell you
that I have made
resolutions of that nature
before
and they usually don't work
- one time I had resolved
to say something
to a woman I kept seeing
on the sidewalks downtown
and the pressure built up
so much
that I
jumped behind a tree
to hide
the next time
I saw her coming.)

So, I go to the library
and my crush is there.

She takes my book
to check it out
and I am saying
(in my head,)
"Do it! Say something!
Now is the chance!
Seize the day!
You never know what will happen!"
but I'm feeling like
it will be very awkward.

This battle continues
for a bit
as I stare down
at my library card
in my hands.

Then I look up,
and say (out loud),
"My library card
is made out of paper!"

There is this brief
yet horrifying pause
and then she says,
sounding eager to talk to me,
"Oh yes, and now,
you can get plastic ones!"

And that was
real progress for me.

I planned to follow it up
on other days,
with equally chatty statements,
but unfortunately,
that was the last time
I ever saw her.


-Jim DuBois
August 24, 2011

After the Funeral

After the funeral,
there was nothing to say
which was not awkward,
nothing to say
which did not seem cliche,
but I kept trying anyway.

I talked to the father
of the deceased man.
I said things like
"It's very sad."
We didn't look at each other
and he said something like,
"I feel terrible,
especially for my grandson,"
and looked up at the trees
and shed some tears.
A half minute later,
he said something like,
"but we've got to get on with life,
and try to help the people
left behind."

I figured out that that moment
between us, however awkward,
however brief,
was important
because it was about caring,
and that what I said
didn't matter as much
as that I cared.

So, when the parents
of the deceased were leaving,
I went up to the mother,
and took her hand
and looked her in the eye
and said as warmly
as I have probably ever
said anything,
"take care."


-Jim DuBois
July 28, 2011

Yes, the Rain

There is a first time
we each heard the rain,
or felt the wind,
or saw the sun.

Even now,
there are four new infants
who can't yet wonder
"what is rain?"
or
"why is there rain?"

They can just
hear it.


-Jim DuBois
Aug 15, 2011

Uncle Fred

After the funeral
I met uncle Fred,
a talkative, friendly,
older Jewish man.

On his way out,
he said to me,
"So, you'll be up here
taking care of Rachel,
since you live nearby, right?"

I flushed, not being used to
being given direct commands,
but said, "yes, absolutely."

I thought that since he didn't know me,
and couldn't be there himself,
he was making sure the family
was taken care of,
letting me know
the importance of that.

I told this story
to his daughter,
who I met months later,
and said how I was impressed
and appreciated his directness.

She said,
"Uncle Fred's not usually
so direct,
but he is
an excellent judge of character."



-Jim DuBois
July 22, 2011