Wet Squirrel

Wet squirrel
hopping across the lawn in a thunderstorm,
do you get lonely too?


-Jim DuBois
June 3, 2012

Return of the Slacker - The Book!

I made another version of my blog: a printed one.

It contains all the poems on this blog, except the two right before this entry. That's over 200 poems from 4 years, all in this one book.
Click here to get a copy

Click here to get a copy.

Vistaprint and Nothingness

I made a postcard
at Vistaprint
which had the words
"there was a time
I was enveloped
by months of nothingness"
on the front,
and as I was
placing an order
for copies of it,
Vistaprint asked
if I would like
to automatically send
copies of the postcard
to a carefully selected
target demographic.

I paused, really,
and thought about it,
because I wondered
who they would select:
The unemployed?
Zen monks?
Hermits?
Lazy people?
Couch potatoes?
Depressed people?

Or on the sadder front,
might they go to
old people in nursing homes,
inmates on death row
or in solitary confinement?

I figured that
even if they
ended up
in the hands
of a very normal,
nice suburbanite,
it would be good
for that moment of wonder,
for that,
"what the hell is this"
look on their face.

I declined the offer,
but not before
I imagined
the postcards being delivered
to newborn babies
as a welcome
to the world.



-Jim DuBois
May 21, 2012

A Measure of What was Given

A measure of what was given
A measure of what was lost

A measure of time gone by
A measure of time going by

A measure of time
A measure of empty space

A measure of lost love
A measure of goodness

A measure of strangers on the sidewalk
A measure of words

A measure of words and meanings
A measure of mental images

A measure of days
A measure of years

A measure of what was written
A measure of what was not

A measure of something breaking
A measure of something about to break

A measure of pressure
A measure of release

A measure of things starting
A measure of those things ending



-Jim DuBois
May 13, 2012

The Inertia of Familiar Things

The inertia of familiar things
The inertia of familiar places
The inertia of familiar people

The orbits we live in
The places we stay at rest
The places we stay dormant

Dormant potential energy

The bonds we don't break
The escape velocity we usually never reach
The bubbles we live inside

The ruts we travel along
Those familiar grooves
Those familiar moves

The energy trapped in neural pathways
The memories we always revisit
The moments we repeat through time

The things we always say
The habits we learned long ago
The roads we take without thinking

Repetitive habitual energy

Time for something new

Some unfamiliar territory
Some awkward things to say
Some unpracticed words

Things we don't know how to do
Places we haven't been
Broken bonds, released energy

Dynamite in the foundation
Rocket fuel in the boosters
Fire in the neurons

A new day
A new life
New time

Now


-Jim DuBois
May 7, 2012

The White Ferret

We went out
onto my back porch
on our way to go camping,
and there was this
white ferret
kind of eagerly sniffing
around the door.
We asked at the
other apartments
if they knew
anything about it,
but we learned
nothing
so we made
a snap decision
and took it with us
on our trip.

Now it mostly rained
that trip,
and we kept the ferret
in the car,
and tried feeding it
different things.
It seemed to like
jelly the best.
It jumped around
in the car,
and slept a lot.

We found a fish-hook
and a broken-down house
up in the hills,
and made a lot of jokes
at night.

Then we left
early on sunday
in the rain,
and when we got back
discovered that
my upstairs neighbor
had owned two white ferrets
who had escaped
onto the roof.
The other one
had fallen off and died,
but ours
got to go on
a strange trip
it probably
never expected.


-Jim DuBois
March 28, 2012

not the me

I'm not the me
you used to know

I'm not the me
you're looking for

I'm not the me
I used to be


I shed my skin
I renewed my heart
I opened up
  to the world
  more than ever

Open to more goodness
Open to more sadness
  and despair
  as they flow out of me
Open to more loneliness
  and preoccupation
Open to more of myself
Open to my own power
  and attractiveness


-Jim DuBois
March 28, 2012

Oberon's Story

Oberon,
being the last and final
king of the fairies,
retained much power
and magic
that had belonged
to his ancestors,
but the world of fairy,
being so empty,
offered him little,
so he spent much time
in the human world,
where few knew
his true self,
and he often succumbed
to the old enchantments
which bound the human world
and made it plain.

Those spells
had been laid upon humans
long ago,
to confuse,
to distract,
to make them forget,
by some primal force
that not even
the lore of the fairies
knew the source of.

You would be tempted to say
these old enchantments
were powerful,
but they weren't.
They were flimsy,
but quite deceptive.
If you could
see through them,
they dispersed easily,
given time.

So Oberon's story
is one of
forgetting and remembering,
forgetting and remembering,
trying to break enchantments,
trying to use his power
to liberate
the magic of the world.


-Jim DuBois
Jan 6, 2012

Sun-tracking

Sitting in the cafe,
waiting for the sun to shift,
or shadow to cover me,
I am surrounded by
busy laptop people.

I don't think
anyone realized
I was using my teacup
and notebook
as a sun-tracker.


-Jim DuBois
Feb 20, 2012

Twins

I.

The day those twins
were born,
I walked up to the hospital
to greet them.

It would have been easy,
in one way,
to do nothing,
but I saw this chance
to do good
and I took it.

Many hours later
I walked home
having greeted the newborns
and been kind to the new parents.


II.

1/2 hour walk to get there
2 couples, 2 sets of twins
4 parents, 4 newborns
4 parents, friends of mine
4 newborns, new friends
1/2 hour walk back home


III.

I spent about twenty hours
that week in the hospital,
sometimes til 2 in the morning,
helping do something important
but undervalued
in the world.


I remember holding
one twin in the solarium
while the other 3 were
being held by other
friends and family
so the parents
could get some sleep.

Mostly I just gazed down
at the little one
sleeping in my arms,
and absorbed and radiated
serenity,
but sometimes
I would glance up
and catch the eye
of my friend
holding the other twin
and connect
with big smiles.

It was one of the
most peaceful times
I have ever had.


Also, one night
I got to help
feed some twins
supplemental milk
so they would gain weight.

If you have never
had to have a friend
gently open a newborn's mouth
so you could slowly drop in some milk,
you have missed
one of the greatest events
that occurred on the planet.


During that week I was
my most true self
that I have been
in a long time.


-Jim DuBois
March 1, 2012

And then she said

And then she said,
"What do you think?"

Here is the conversation
that went on
in the control room
of my mind.

"Well, captain,
we know from previous encounters
with this life-form
that if you answer,
she will get angry
and ask why
you never agree
with anything she says,
and if you don't answer
she will say that you
never say what's on your mind."

"So, you're telling me
I'm screwed either way."

"Yes, captain, I am."

"Ok then, raise the shield
and put us on red alert!"

"Captain, our shields
aren't functioning against her!"
She knows the security codes
too well!"

"I hate to have to do this,
lieutenant, but activate
the auto-destruct sequence."

Now back to the real world
for the conclusion,
where I say,
"I'm breaking up
with you."


-Jim DuBois
April 29, 2001?

My Magical Powers

Magical Powers

If I ever start to talk
about my magical powers,
how I acquired them,
and what I actually do
with my life,
sit down,
take notes,
and start the next day
on your quest
to the hidden cave
in the Himalayas.


-Jim DuBois
Feb 18, 2012

True Love

I told you
that you'd really
influenced me.
Since we'd started dating,
I said "jackass"
and "Douche-bag"
a whole lot more.
I felt guilty about it
but a few days later
you told me
that ever since
dating me
you hated love songs
and I felt that
kind of
made us even.


-Jim DuBois
Feb 14, 2010

Valentines

You asked
how far it was
between my balls
and my butt-crack,
I farted under the covers,
and you said,
"do you think
boobs are weird?"
and then, later,
we both burped
at the same time.


-Jim DuBois
Feb 14, 2010

Rocket Boy

We must have told you
that Daddy was far away
after he died,
or something like that,
because you got it
in your head
that he was out on Jupiter
in outer space, or at a star,
and we let it stand at that,
because often there was
no more reasonable way
to say it.

Lately you've loved to watch
the launch of Apollo 11
on youtube,
and listen to the song
"Rocket-Man"
by Elton John,
and I think
as I sit there with you
that you are on
a kind of a lonely quest
to find your father,
and I am awed
by the deep hope
you have
that maybe it's possible.

It is serious
and important for you,
at four and a half,
to be on this quest,
and it is important
for me to set down a reminder,
a note to your future self,
saying that even though
a quest might take you
across the universe,
it always ends up
being about coming to terms
with what is inside of you.


-Jim DuBois
Dec 10, 2011



Bonus Videos! Watch them separately, or do an experiment and run them both at the same time.

Start this first:


Start this after a couple of minutes or so:

Defiance

One day
Death will come looking for me
and I'll tell him
Fuck off,
I'm not done


-Jim DuBois

Magical Essence

Our Ideas About Death

I.

Right after
your father died
you used to talk to me
in the middle of the night
about your ideas
about death,
how maybe you would
dig a hole in the ground
and find Daddy
or how it scared you
that they might
put you and Mama
in different holes in the ground
when you died,
and you would be
very lonely then,
or how you wanted
to die together with Mama
on the same day,
because you always wanted
to be with her,
and it was sweet
and horrible
all together for me.

I had to be
an adult
and reassure you
that you and Mama
would live a long time,
but that it
was still sad
that Daddy died.

I remember you saying to me,
"I never thought
you would die, Jim,"
and it was chilling
to think of you
imagining my death,
to see you face death
so early.

I also remember
after one of these conversations
at the lake house,
you getting up
and saying,
"Let's never die!"
and jumping around eagerly
on the bed,
and I thought
that was
a damn fine response.



II.

Even though I reassured you
about death, and
was happy to help,
I don't really understand it
or like it myself.

I think of it as
a cruel robbery
that breaks hearts
that changes lives' courses
that makes days grimmer,
and I would undo it,
I would stop it,
if I could.

I don't understand
why we are here,
or why we die
-- it does seem cruel --
but despite that,
the chance to meet you
and love you
was worth it.


-Jim DuBois
Nov 30, 2011

Nice Knowin' Ya

Every time
someone tells me
that they
are getting married,
or even more
when they
are having a kid,
I genuinely
feel like saying,
"It was nice knowin' ya!"
and rolling my eyes,
because I think
people have no idea
what they are in for,
and it would be better
to warn them,
in a perfect world,
but I know it's not nice,
so I eke out an,
"Oh, uh... congratulations,"
instead,
and throw in a sincere
"Good luck,"
on the way out.


-Jim DuBois
Jan 6, 2012