Say Something!

Many years ago now,
I had this unbearable
crush on a librarian
at the Forbes library.

It was the kind of crush
that left me
unable to talk
in her presence.

I would go by
every few days
and get out books
just to see if she
was there,
and invariably,
if she was,
utter a timid thanks
and leave.

It was so unbearable
that I resolved one day
to say something
next time,
no matter what.

(Now, I must tell you
that I have made
resolutions of that nature
before
and they usually don't work
- one time I had resolved
to say something
to a woman I kept seeing
on the sidewalks downtown
and the pressure built up
so much
that I
jumped behind a tree
to hide
the next time
I saw her coming.)

So, I go to the library
and my crush is there.

She takes my book
to check it out
and I am saying
(in my head,)
"Do it! Say something!
Now is the chance!
Seize the day!
You never know what will happen!"
but I'm feeling like
it will be very awkward.

This battle continues
for a bit
as I stare down
at my library card
in my hands.

Then I look up,
and say (out loud),
"My library card
is made out of paper!"

There is this brief
yet horrifying pause
and then she says,
sounding eager to talk to me,
"Oh yes, and now,
you can get plastic ones!"

And that was
real progress for me.

I planned to follow it up
on other days,
with equally chatty statements,
but unfortunately,
that was the last time
I ever saw her.


-Jim DuBois
August 24, 2011